7 Questions to Determine If You Have a Weak Man

Kevin thinks he is his own man. He does whatever he wants regardless of the circumstances. He does not listen. Kevin claims to understand manhood because he has fathered several children. However, Kevin lives with his mother and is jobless. He constantly evades child support payments and bill collectors. Yet, reality never sinks in his mind. He proclaims to the world that he’s a ‘real man.’ Sadly, Kevin represents a growing number of weak men in our society.

One night I could not go to sleep. I watched a movie classic, “Cat on a Hot Tin Roof,” which featured Paul Newman, Burl Ives, and Elizabeth Taylor. Ex-football player and alcoholic Brick (Newman) reunites with his father, Big Daddy (Ives), who is dying of cancer. The movie showcases an assortment of personal conflicts and family drama. One of the strongest conflicts is between father and son. In one scene, Brick is found arguing with his demanding father, “I didn’t want a boss. I wanted a father. All I ever wanted was you to love me.” The movie provides a clear theme for the issues associated with manhood today. In the movie, the father’s controlling behavior contributes to the weakness of his son. Likewise, many people in America share the blame for creating weak men. Are we unknowingly contributing to the growth of weak men? It is a troubling observation as we look at our society. The hot story today is about the brutal treatment of Rhianna by boyfriend Chris Brown. Many pundits and women’s advocates highlight the negative nature of abusive relationships. While these stories are the tragic realities of our culture, they are often forgotten as a passing snapshot before another sensational news story. Yet, the most disturbing thing to witness is the growing trend of more weak men in our society.

The Real Problem
The storyline is very troubling. Weak men are negatively impacting our society. According to the American Bar Association Commission on Domestic Violence, 25% of women had been raped and/or physically assaulted by a current or former spouse, cohabiting partner, or dating partner/acquaintance at some time in their lifetime in the 1995-1996 study. Women experienced 20% of all nonfatal violent crimes at the hands of an intimate partner.

Celebrities tout their wealth as a symbol of good character. Consequently, destructive behavior is rewarded with million dollar contracts. The model is developed. Many men consider toughness a virtue and kindness a weakness. Young people follow what we do and not what we say. Therefore, a vicious cycle takes place in our culture where manhood isn’t understood. Men are depending more on women to provide for them and take the leadership role in their homes. Some men do not feel any commitment to the young lady. She is disrespected and taken for granted.

The Masculine Definition
In order to understand a weak man, an individual must understand the meaning of manhood. Being a real man is about possessing responsible character. It involves moving beyond the trivial to the significant in life. This concept is revealed biblically in 1 Corinthians 13:11: “When I was a child, I spoke like a child, thought like a child, and reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up my childish ways.” The problem is that so many men have not grown up and are living the lives of grown-up ‘children.’ There is plenty of blame to go around: parents, media, celebrities, and society in general.

Young men are growing up confused about the meaning of manhood. Therefore, a fight exists between doing the right things and doing what’s in my own selfish interest. It is the battle of the internal man. General George Patton said, “Battle is the most magnificent competition in which a human being can indulge. It brings out all that is best; it removes all that is base. All men are afraid in battle. The coward is the one who lets his fear overcome his sense of duty. Duty is the essence of manhood.” Below is how to determine if you have a weak man:

  1. Is he a dependable person?
  2. Does he take responsibility for his situation?
  3. Does he work with you on building a shared vision for the future?
  4. Is he willing to make a commitment to you?
  5. Can he keep a full-time job on a consistent basis?
  6. Does he encourage your dreams and ambitions?
  7. Does he demonstrate that he respects you by his actions and words?

If the majority of your answers are ‘no,’ you’ve got a very weak man on your hands. Therefore, it is up to you to improve your conditions in life, not that weak man.

Society must allow men to become more self-sufficient. In the movie Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, Big Daddy operated in ways that enabled Brick, his son. As a consequence, Brick never really experienced the consequences of his bad decisions. Likewise, many people promote the weak man model by cuddling and shielding these men from the realities of life. However, today’s men must be accountable, responsible, and character leaders in society.

Giving young boys positive male role models is important in stopping the epidemic of weakness. However, it is crucial that they interface with strong men through organizations like churches and community organizations. If adults take positive steps today, society can prevent this growing problem in communities across this country.

Future Outlook
Can you afford to have a weak man in your life? The media constantly bombards us with negative caricatures of manhood. Instead of producing positive results, they generate the negative unintended consequence of weak men. Some parents want to shift the blame to the schools or the government. It is time that we reject this weak man model today. Many men and women are attempting to correct this problem in order to raise more dependable men in our society. Real manhood is not glamorous as the movies would have you believe. Real manhood is not an easy process. It is about shouldering your responsibilities, making commitments, and making hard choices. Can you survive with a weak man?

How to Catch Walleye: The “Silent Partner” Method

Are you one of those adventurous people who are looking for some walleye fishing techniques and tips? Here’s a tip — Consider thinking of the walleye as your “silent partner” in your fishing adventure. Let me explain.

You could be interested in planning a fishing vacation to catch some walleye? You could be eager to experience some of the Canadian fishing lore of catching nice sized fish in an atmosphere of remote, pristine waters? If so, you are not alone.

Sure, almost anyone can go to Canada (or northern USA states) and enjoy the beautiful pine-scented, boreal forest and have a great time in a remote cabin on the edge of a cold water lake. That is the easy part. However, if you want to add the pleasure of also getting out on the lake and catching the prized walleye, that part takes some additional preparation.

Not only must you have all the rods, reels, line, lures, and all the other fishing gear to get the job done, but you also need some good old-fashioned knowledge or experience in finding and catching these seemingly elusive fish. That is where reading this and other articles comes in.

Yes, fishermen have developed websites and they contain information on specialized lures and fishing camps sent periodic reports for their particular lake. Yes, all that is great information and you should gather and use it to your advantage… information is the key. But, there is an additional aspect of fishing for walleye for you to consider.

Do you remember the movie “Cool Hand Luke”? It was a movie (starring Paul Newman) about a disgustingly primitive prison in the southern USA swampland. In one of the scenes, a prison guard supervisor was lecturing the inmates about learning to cope with the harsh prison life. He said to the prisoners, “You have to get your mind right”!

Well, the same idea can apply to walleye fishing. In this case, thinking of the walleye as your silent partner helps “get your mind right”!

Here’s the idea. Think about this. All the walleye in the lake are perfectly willing to cooperate in your quest to have a great fishing adventure. They will eagerly take your bait and are happy to give you the great, heart-thumping pleasure in wrestling them into your boat. They will even be glad to provide the basis of a tasty, memorable Canadian open-fire shore lunch. In this way, they are your partner in experiencing a great fishing trip.

All you have to do is give them a chance. They are not the enemy. They are not hiding. They are not avoiding you. They don’t run and hide in the depths when you approach. To be sure, they can be finicky and a little hard to please at times. However, overall they will agree to help “make your day”.

You might say, “That’s a lot of B.S. I’ve been out on the lake for hours and never got a bite”. The question one has to ask is, “Where were you”?

We know where the fish were. They were/are where they always are. They are in places that make them feel safe. They are at depths where the light and temperature conditions are comfortable. They are in places with food available. Where were you?

The walleye are there-in numerous places all over the lake that give them all the things above. They are there — swimming around and doing what fish do. So, how do you make them your partner?

The walleye are there-waiting for you to show up. All you have to do is:

a. drive your boat over to their location
b. drop something they like to eat (bait/lure)in the water
c. Send it down to their depth and
d. make it look interesting

When you do that… BANG, you get that Tug-Tug on your line and the fun begins. The walleye on your line has become your fishing partner. You have done your part. The walleye has done its part. There is a nice balance.

WOW! It’s so simple, eh? In many ways-yes, it’s simple. It’s simple enough to learn about the walleye, its habits, favorite habitat, food preferences, etc. It’s simple to learn about when and why walleye move around the lake in response to the seasons. The more you know about this stuff, the easier it is to find where the walleye are waiting. Learning all the details you need is not difficult.

There is a lot of acreage in most lakes. There are billions of gallons of water. However, a good part of the lake area is what might be termed “dead water”. You must know that walleye do not just universally litter the bottom of the lake. You cannot just stop your boat anywhere and expect to catch a fish.

Walleye will only be comfortable in a very small percentage of the lake environment. And, that is where they are swimming around…waiting. You have to learn to eliminate the “dead water”.

If you are a “rookie”, the odds of you jumping in a boat, heading out on a lake, throwing out some lines and stumbling onto a mess of nice walleye are very slim. The balance is all out-of-whack. The makings of a good partnership are not there.

Fishermen with limited experience in catching walleye will usually opt to hire a guide to take them to where the walleye are waiting. That is fine. We recommend it. It can be very educational. However, it is also very expensive.

It’s been a long time, but my fishing group (55+ years in Canada) have been there-done that. Sooner or later, you too will gain enough experience to easily find walleye. It’s your job to make the time frame as short as possible.

We mentioned balance above. In nature, there is always some measure of balance, but it is not always perfect. Sometimes the scales can be heavily over weighted to one side. Take the example of a rookie fisherman against the walleye.

On the one hand you have the walleye. They know their comfort zones and where to find them. They know exactly where they are in their environment. They know what they like to eat. They hover around their favorite places swimming, resting, and/or waiting to eat. The walleye are not looking for you.

On the other hand, we have a fisherman. He/she may not have a clue about any of these things. He doesn’t really know where the walleye are or why. Inexperienced walleye fishermen learn quickly that the scale or balance is heavily weighted in favor of the fishes that their location will remain a secret.

So, how can we shift the balance back toward the fisherman? What is the key? The key is information (substitute experience), of course! Information and experience changes everything and shifts the balance. That is what makes for a good partnership.

We realize that not everybody can get to Canada or go walleye fishing on a regular basis. Even taking a trip every year is not always possible. My fishing group has been fortunate. We have taken an annual trip to Canada every year since about 1955.

To make a long story short, we have gathered a ton of information in our 50+ years of hunting the prized walleye. And, you can too. Our goal in writing this and other articles is to keep the balance tipping in your favor. When fishermen get the balance shifted in their favor, or at least to a balanced position, they may WANT to hire a guide, but they won’t NEED to.

How is that for a walleye fishing technique or tip? It is maybe a bit esoteric, but we hope you get the point. Yes, it’s true–walleye can actually be your “silent partner” in a great fishing trip.

It helps to… “Get your mind right”! Grab all the background information you can to keep the balance fair. Start a plan to get out there and find where they are waiting. It’s a great adventure in the making!

Walleye Fishing is not a matter of life and death. It’s more important than that!

How to Be a Great Kisser

Are you a good kisser, a poor kisser or a fabulous kisser? Has anyone ever told you that you were a good kisser? Well it does take two to make it really good. First kisses are usually awkward, but further exploration of your partner’s abilities may surprise you. Kissing just to kiss is fun, but kissing because you can’t help yourself is what makes kissing so very special.

What is it that makes certain people so very kissable? There are certain things that tend to create the perfect kiss. Before anything else of importance let me say that impeccable hygiene is very important; poor oral care can ruin even the most wonderful kiss. So before you decide that it is time to make your partner crave your kisses….freshen up! Unless you have both just had a big bowl of pasta with garlic, or you’ve both had alcohol…garlic and alcohol literally kill germs in the mouth – so generally it is not offensive. Now on with what really matters…

People with fuller lips are known to be more sensual and better kissers. Full lips are supposed to signify generosity of all kinds. Full lips are also signaling that there is a rich source of love to share. Thick lips and…well you get the idea. Thin lipped people have to be more careful when kissing because they will have to open the edge of their lips before their lips meet their partner’s. This opening will assure that there is softness to the kiss. But those full lipped lovers can create kisses that are varied, quick, long, seductive, and juicy.

It seems that Angelina and Brad, for instance, both have full lips. They are two of the most passionate people on the planet. Women continue to have their lips medically plumped so that they can have lips like Angelina and other beautiful women with full large lips. Some races tend to have larger lips and other attributes. African Americans have beautiful full lips generally, as do many Mediterraneans. You can get a sense for the natural and seductive beauty of screen lovers such as Sophia Loren, Jada Pinket Smith, Rachel Welch, Hale Berry, Selma Hyak, Queen Latiffa, Penelope Cruz, and Jessica Simpson are samples of luscious lipped women. Actors with full lips include Brad Pitt, Ashton Kusher, Will Smith, James Dean,Denzel Washington, Rob Lowe, Keenu Reeves, and Paul Newman.

You might have a thin top lip and a fuller bottom lip. As long as one of the partners has fuller lips, kissing can really be an outstanding experiences. Now, this is not to say that thin lipped people, or those with average lips cannot be awesome kissers, I’m just saying that they will have to work a little harder. Thinner lips can really be exciting on different body parts.

French kissing your partner will take intimacy to a whole new level. When people use their tongues during kissing they are actually having sex. You don’t believe me do you? Well, it is true. French kissing sends signals to the brain that there is a sexual act in the making because someone has entered your body, or you are entering someone’s body. This intimate act of kissing must be avoided at all costs if you wish to keep lovemaking or sex out of the picture. French kissing can quickly raise the “heat” of the moment.

Try kissing without your tongue. Just kiss your lover’s hands, cheek, chest, ears, forehead. And then lightly kiss his/her lips, very gently at first. A gentle kiss can be very erotic. Taking a very slow approach to a kiss is also a great idea. Make your partner want the kiss before it happens, don’t just kiss quickly. Although a quick surprise on the back of the neck or the ear from behind when least expected is exciting, save those surprises while learning how to kiss someone so that they crave more.

Kissing while sitting is different than kissing while standing or lying down. Where you place your hands while kissing is also important. If you just kissed your partner and didn’t even touch any other body part the kiss would feel nearly empty and cold. But place just one finger under his or her chin, or put your arms around he or she and hold them for a moment while you look into each other’s eyes so that you get the connection first. Tilt your head slightly and steadily lean in. Try kissing very lightly several times, pull away, breathe. If you are sitting try standing, change position. If your partner takes the lead just go with it, then come back to investigate other places that appeal.

Kissing in a car is always fun because it brings back memories of times when first kisses were really special. You can’t do much other than kiss in a car so kissing while watching the sunset, the surf, or the night sky in a car is always good. So many couples never kiss body parts other than lips–that’s just a pure waste. When you look at your lover and admire he or she, what part of their body thrills you? Eyes,neck,ears,top of the breast near the clavical, man’s chest, hands, cheeks…? Kissing should include more than the lips and I’m not talking about bedroom kissing here.

Kissing is definitely a mental act as well as a physical act. Where does your mind go when you are kissing your lover? Have you ever noticed that you are turned on by a certain type of kiss in a certain place? Surrendering to a kiss is as important as being the one approaching. Sometimes people have poor images of their body parts and do not want to draw attention to them, however, your partner may love your quirky chin, or ears, or forehead, and be drawn to just those spots because he or she adores the core of you. Allowing kisses even for a fleeting moment can send messages to the brain that you are okay – that you are attractive. Once you feel attractive your partner will sense your pleasure and then the kissing continues.

Have you ever kissed your lover just out of a shower? He or she is wet and the sensation of kissing a wet body part is certainly different and can be a real turn on for some people. Have you ever kissed your lover while cooking in the kitchen, or doing some average household chore? Have you ever played a kissing game- one where the lights are off and you are both unclothed? You take turns kissing a body part until you find a new spot that thrills your partner. Have you ever massaged your sweetheart with fragrant oils and kissed his or her back? You get the idea here – mix things up and be creative. I love to see people kissing when they are out – I’m not talking about really making out in public – I’m talking about a genuine kiss when inspired no matter where you are.

Here are some things to remember when learning to be a fabulous kisser:

1. Relax – think about nothing else but a gentle kiss on your partner’s lips. Stand face to face and pull her/him toward you as if you were confident and look into his/her eyes as you move forward. Touch your lips and simply kiss gently then pull away. Look again in his/her eyes and see how they are responding. Kiss his/her neck on the next attempt, again watch for a response.

2. Girls, it is always nice to have a lip gloss that tastes good on your lips.Actually more guys are wearing lip glosses and chapstick today. Whatever can soften your lips and cause a “slide” when you kiss is always good. I know in Italy women rub olive oil all over their bodies to keep them moist and supple – so be creative, it doesn’t have to be store bought. You can use things from your kitchen like the inner part of a banana, kiwi, avocado, or a melon. There are natural oils in most every plant. Coconut and almond oils are also good.

3. I know that a lot of people enjoy kissing “cold” lips, ones that have just downed an icy drink. In fact, cool lips can become very warm quickly when kissing begins. Try just kissing his/her forehead first – then cheek, then ear, then the lips. Move from there if you dare.

4. Kiss your lover while you breathe them in. That’s right, you are literally experiencing the depth of your partner and you adore them. Once you feel that your partner is ready for a more passionate kiss – gentle touch the tip of your tongue to his or hers while your mouth is slightly open. See if they respond. Do not shove your tongue down your partner’s throat – save that for the full enchilada.

5. When you kiss your partner – mean it – don’t just kiss expecting there to be more. What if kissing was all you were to share? Make the kisses meaningful. Now say something to your partner. What? Express the feelings you are having that moment. “You turn me on with your eyes.” “I love your smile” “You make me hot” “I have a hard time staying away from you” “Don’t tell me to stop” “Your kisses drive me crazy” you get the idea…

6. Try holding your lover from the back and kissing their neck, Lean over the couch from behind and kiss your lover on the cheek. Slide over and lay in his/her lap and hold each other while you kiss right there.

7. Kiss when your partner “moves” you. That could be he or she just made the bed and you appreciate it, Or he/she cooked a marvelous dinner and you appreciate the effort. Or he/she just took the kids to soccer and gave you a break. Kiss for thank yous, for I love yous, for can I have you now, and for any reason that thrills you.

8. Vary your kisses and keep them interesting.

9. Kiss your partner from the depth of your soul when you want to make a lasting impression. Your lover will know an empty kiss, from a “will you do me a favor kiss” to an “I want you” kiss, or an “I love you kiss.” Make it appropriate for the moments you have and fall in love with kissing again like you did when you were a teenager.

10. Keep practicing. Watch movies with your lover and see what turns them on then try those things. Before you know it you will be thrilling your partner and yourself with your talent because it will become truly an expression of passion if you are in love.

So, happy kissing and best wishes for sexier moments than you can imagine!